with. For my own part, they seem to me such necessary qualifications, that my heart trembles at the thoughts of ever having a wife without them. What! shall I marry one that is wedded already to her sins? or have possession of her body only, when the Devil has possession of her soul? Shall such a one be united to me here who shall be separated from me for ever hereafter, and condemned to scorch in everlasting burnings? No, if ever it be my lot to enter into that state, I beg of God, that He would direct me in the choice of such a wife only to lie in my bosom here as may afterwards be admitted to rest in Abraham's bosom to all eternity; such a one as will so live, and pray, and converse, with me upon earth, that we may both be entitled to sing, rejoice, and be blessed together for ever, in Heaven.

That this, therefore, may be my portion and felicity, I firmly resolve never to set upon such a design before I have first solicited the throne of grace, and begged of my Heavenly Father to honour me with the partnership of one of His beloved children; and shall afterwards be as careful and cautious as I can never to fix my affections upon any woman for a wife till I am thoroughly persuaded of the grounds I have to love her as a true Christian.

If I could be thus happy as to meet with a wife of these qualities and endowments, it would be impossible for me not to be hearty and sincere in my affection toward her, even though I had the greatest temptations to place them upon another: for how could I choose but love her, who has God for her Father, the Church for her mother, and Heaven for her portion, who loves God, and is beloved of Him? especially when I consider, that thus to love her, will not only be my duty, but my happiness too.

ver. 28.

As to the duty, it is frequently inculcated in Scripture, that "husbands should love their wives," and that not with a common love, but as "Christ loved His Church," "yea, as Eph. 5. 25. their own body," or, "as themselves," and they are so to ver. 33. love them as not to be "bitter against them," not to be pas- Col. 3. 19. sionate or angry with them upon every light matter, nor suffer their resentments to rise to that height upon any occasion whatsoever, as to abate the least spark of conjugal affection towards them, but to "nourish and cherish them,

even as the Lord the Church." In a word, to do all the kind offices they can for them in their civil capacities, and to help and forward them, by all means possible, in the way that leads to Heaven; that as they are united in the flesh, so they may likewise be united in the spirit, and raised and rewarded together at the general resurrection.

And as love is the great duty, so is it likewise the chief happiness of a married state. I do not mean that love whereby she loves me, but that wherewith I love her; for if I myself have not a cordial esteem and affection for her, what happiness will it be to me to be beloved by her! or rather, what a misery would it be to be forced to live with one I know I cannot love! As ever, therefore, I desire to be happy, I must perform my duty in this particular, and never aim at any other end, in the choice of a wife, or expect any other happiness in the enjoyment of her, but what is founded in the principle of pure and inviolable love. If I should court and marry a woman for riches, then whenever they fail or take their flight, my love and my happiness must drop and vanish together with them. If I choose her for beauty only, I shall love her no longer than while that continues, which is only till age or sickness blasts it, and then farewell, at once, both duty and delight.

But if I love her for her virtues, and for the sake of God, Who has enjoined it as a duty, that our affections should not be alienated or separated by any thing but death; then, though all the other sandy foundations fail, yet will my happiness remain entire; even though I should not perceive those mutual returns of love which are due to me from her

upon the same bottom. But O! the happiness of that couple whose inclinations to each other are as mutual as their duties; whose affections, as well as persons, are linked together with the same tie. This is the chief condition required to make the state of matrimony happy or desirable, and shall be the chief motive with me to induce me to enter into it. For though it be no happiness to be beloved by one I do not love, yet it is certainly a very great one to be beloved by one I do. If this then be my lot, to have mutual expressions of love from the person I fix my affections upon, what joy and comfort will it raise in my heart, with what

peace and amity shall we live together here, and what glory and felicity may we not promise ourselves hereafter! What is here said of the duty in choosing and loving of a wife may be likewise applied to the woman's duty in choosing and loving her husband. But being not so immediately concerned in this, I pass on to my next resolution.

RESOLUTION III.

I am resolved, by the grace of God, to do my endeavour to give to God whatsoever children He shall be pleased to give to me, that as they are mine by nature, they may be His by grace.

I have sometimes wondered at the providence of God, in bringing so many millions of people out of the loins of one man; and cannot but make this use of it, even to stir up myself to a double diligence, in bringing up my children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." For who [Eph. 6.4.] knows but the salvation of ten thousand souls may depend upon the education of one single child?

If I train up my son in the ways of religion, and teach him what it is to keep "a conscience void of offence [Acts 24. 16.] towards God and towards man;" he will then not only have an inward sense of his own duty, but take all possible care to instil it into others, whether children or servants, that are committed to his charge: and these again will do the same to theirs, by teaching them to walk in the same path; till, by degrees, the piety and holiness of one man has diffused itself to all succeeding generations. But now, on the other hand, if I neglect the care of my son's education, and suffer the leprosy of sin and wickedness to taint and corrupt him, it is great odds, without an extraordinary interposition of Divine grace, but the infection may spread itself over all my posterity; and so draw down upon me the curses and accusations of ten thousand souls in Hell, which might otherwise have been praising and blessing God for me to all eternity, in Heaven. Hence it is that I am resolved to endeavour to be a spiritual, as well as natural father to my children; yea, to take more care to get a portion for their souls in Heaven,

than to make provision for their bodies upon earth. For if [1Tim.5.8.] he be "accounted worse than an infidel, that provides not

for his family" the sustenance of their bodies, what is he that suffers his family to neglect the Salvation of their souls? That nothing of this, therefore, may be laid to my charge, if ever Providence sees fit to bless me with children of my own, I will take effectual care, so soon as conveniently I can, to devote them unto God by Baptism, that what guilt they have contracted, by coming through my loins, may be washed away by the laver of regeneration; and then to be constantly soliciting the throne of grace, that He Who hath given them to me would be pleased to give Himself to them.

The next thing to be done, as soon as they come to be capable of instruction, is to take all occasions, and make use of all means, to work the knowledge of God into their heads, and the grace of Christ into their hearts; by teaching [Eccles. 12. them to "remember their Creator in the days of their i.] youth;" by acquainting them with the duties that He that made them expects from them; with the rewards they shall have if dutiful, and the punishment they shall feel, if disobedient children; still accommodating my expressions to the shallow capacity of their tender years. And according to their doing, or not doing, of what they have been told, I shall reward them with what is most pleasing, or punish them with what is most displeasing to their years. To speak to them of Heaven and eternal glory will not encourage them so much as to give them their childish pleasures and desires and the denouncing of a future Hell will not affright them so much as the inflicting a present smart. Hence it is that Solomon so oft inculcates this upon parents, [Prov. 13. as their duty to their children, that they should not "spare 23.13, 14.]' the rod, lest they spoil the child." But I must still take care to let them understand, that what I do is from a principle of love and affection to them, not of fury and indignation against them. For, by this means, God may correct me for correcting them; I may set before my children such an example of indiscreet and sinful passion, as they will be apt enough to learn without my teaching them. On the other hand, it behoves me, if possible, so to order my family,

24; 19. 18;

that my children may not see or hear, and so not learn any thing but goodness in it; for commonly, according to what we learn when we are young, we practise when we are old. And therefore, as I shall take great care that my children learn nothing that is evil or sinful at home, so likewise that they do not come into such company abroad, where their innocence may be assaulted with swearing, cursing, or any kind of profane or obscene discourse, which the generality of our youth are so obnoxious to. Or, at least, if this is not wholly to be avoided, to prevent these poisonous weeds from taking root in the heart, it behoves me to take all opportunities of discoursing to them of God and Christ, of the immortality of their souls, and the future state they are to be doomed to in another world, when they have lived a little while in this; that, according as they grow in years, they may "grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and [2 Pet. 3. 18.] Saviour Christ." And when they come to years of discretion, capable of doing further honour and service to God. and their country by some calling or profession, I must be sure to place them in such a one as may be no hinderance to that high and Heavenly calling which they have in Christ Jesus, but rather contribute to further and promote it; that being like tender plants engrafted into the true vine, they may bring forth much fruit, to God's glory, to my comfort, and their own Salvation.

RESOLUTION IV.

I am resolved, by the grace of God, to do my duty to my servants, as well as expect they should do theirs to me.

15.]

It was Joshua's, and, by God's grace, it shall be my resolution, that "I and my house will serve the Lord." I in [Josh. 24. the first place, and then my house; for if I myself do not, I cannot expect that they should. So that for the ordering of my family in general, I must not only press their duty upon them, but likewise practise my own duty in suppressing all vicious and lewd conversation, and composing all strife and contention amongst them; in praying every day at the least twice with them; in catechising and ex

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